Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We are DONE!

You have to stop calling me; I told you it’s over. We broke up 2 years ago and I still see you hanging outside my door, disrupting me at school, even following me to family dinners! But we'll never get back together. You and I both know we have become estranged and I’m serious when I say we are through.  I know we used to spend weeks at a time together carefree, just doing whatever we wanted but I told you that was puppy love, back then I had no idea what real love is! 
Aside from that you’re such a liar! You always told me how I 'had' to dress, the 'right' way to look, and you always told me I needed these worthless things when I didn't! We always did what you wanted to do and you promised again and again that we would have the time of our lives but somehow I was always left cleaning up the mess at the end of yet another disappointing day. To be perfectly honest you never did satisfy me and your so not attractive to me anymore. I thought more partying, gossiping, and more time with you would do the trick but it only burned me out. And here you are trying to serenade me again. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you are trying to get with all my friends?! Even my family! How sick are you?
Anyways I wanted to tell you once and for all, the rumors are true: I’m with Jesus and we are married now and yes He is that guy you always hated and even tried convinced me to hate. You really turned on the waterworks when you noticed me notice him, but that is not going to work anymore.  You told me about his family, how they don’t know how to have a good time, how they aren’t into “free living” like us. But I met them and they aren’t how you said they are, actually quite the opposite. I am almost flattered that you would try so hard to get my attention but no matter what you do or how you try you could never be half the man my Jesus is.  Stop calling me, stop following me; it’s just not going to happen.
Good riddance,

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


The first time I heard 'The Anthem' by Jake Hamilton, I was sitting on my roof looking at the stars, completely awestruck, tears falling down my eyes, as I heard Jake belting. 

I am royalty. I have destiny. I have been set free. I will shake history

He's calling, wake up child. It's your turn to shine. You were born for such a time as this.

Fast forward now, a couple weeks later sitting in a field at my church. Screaming these wonderful words over and over again, they echoed through my earbuds and became a declaration over my own life. I had no idea the power or gravity of what I was saying, how I was indeed created with such purpose in mind. My sole purpose of existence is for glory.
Let me tell you, screaming at the top of your lungs, "I am going to change the world" does something to you. And then a couple days later I had one of 'those' moments. The kind where it all just clicks.
I was driving in George (my jeep wrangler) as the song came on my iPod, so naturally I turned up the volume. For those of you who have never heard this song, listen to it and you'll see why. And I heard the words, 'I can hear the footsteps of my king..'
then it got to

Wake up child, it's your turn to shine, you were born for such a time as this.

You may not know this about me, but I am a generally discontented person. All last year the only thought going through my head was Africa, and how excited I was. In Africa, time slowed. I learned a very valuable lesson that I have forgotten every since I've come back to America; to not worry about the future and what is happening next. In Kenya we had NO concept of time or what was coming next. It was so freeing! But ever since I have been back I have been thinking about what is coming next so much. What do I do about this year? Next year? College? Where is my next trip? Even just getting through the week for the weekend, which goes by much to fast. Then going through the whole next week just looking forward to Friday again.

It's robbed me.

It has robbed me of just enjoying where I am right now. This way of thinking has kept me from understanding how I was born for such a time as this. I've spent too much of my life wondering about how I'm going to get to the next thing and glorifying it in my head that I don't know how to enjoy the right now.  The truth is that whether i am in Bolivia, Russia, or Klein Collins High School, I'll never find true contentment as long as I'm searching for it in my circumstances.  When I can look beyond where I am at, who I'm with, and what I'm doing; beyond all of the junk, injustice, poverty, and chaos; when I can look past it all and lock eyes with the king of kings, that's when I'll find contentment and that's when a deep resolve will rest in my heart of hearts to say "it really doesn't matter."  none of it...good, bad, right and wrong, the hell and the happiness.  It all goes away when i can stand solely upon who the Lord is and who I am to him.

I'm choosing to say that i was born for such a time as this. 11 months ago 'this' was in colorado, 5 months it was in goergia, 4 months it was kenya, yesterday it was sitting at starbucks. It's all kingdom.  It's all destiny.  It's all a part of shaking history.  Would i rather be holding aids babies in eburru, kenya or walking in kibera?  yes.  I would rather be doing that.  but i believe the lord will give me all of those things back, in one way or another, in his timing.

but today, i'm choosing to fight for contentment.  
i'm choosing to declare that i was born for such a time as this.  
and i'm battling to make this good enough.